Trichotillomania

Since childhood I have suffered from Trich (let’s just shorten that bad boy) in one form or another. I was the only kid at school with a full on bald patch and although I no longer pull hair out, the Trich manifests itself in other ways even as an adult.

Basically I’m going to tell you about my own experience with Trich, if you want the latest in medical jargon and treatments you won’t find it here. I do however hope you find something helpful in this blog.

Thinking back now it seems weird, but at the same time there’s still an urge to pull out the hair in my crown twenty-odd years on. I couldn’t say when it started, but as a kid I’ve always had a ‘low crown’, my hair look weird from the back. Whether that had anything to do with it I’m not sure. In my logic it makes sense that if my hair lies flat a certain way it puts uncomfortable pressure at the roots, but that’s just a theory.

I remember the idea, for some reason, was to find the single hair closest to the middle of the crown and pluck it out. I would try and take just one hair, single out the exact hair I wanted, then when it felt like I had it, plucking it out. It felt like the release in tension was somehow satisfying. Then I would check the hair to see if there was any root attached. This may be my own experience with Trich or maybe everybody who deals with it has a similar experience.

I definitely feel that the more stress that I am trying to deal with in life, the more prominent the urge to pick or pull. Notice I mention pick, as an adult my Trich has turned to skin picking. I have scabs that I don’t let heal, I pick them until they bleed. They are out of sight, from the outside you would never know I deal with this nonsense. But in the past they have caused small infections and I’m constantly carrying bloody tissue in my pockets.

I guess I’ve never had any addictions as such, drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, while I can enjoy these things I can always stop at any given point. And while somebody might look at someone with a Trich and say ‘why don’t you just stop doing it?’, I can look at a smoker and say the same. It just seems like the simplest thing in the world, spending too much money on gambling? Stop gambling then. Maybe my Trich even helps with that, maybe if I didn’t have it I might get hooked onto something more dangerous. Who knows how the human psyche works.

But that raises an interest point, can a Trich be transferred into something else. As I said, I no longer pluck my hair, and it’s long.  Somewhere along the way I managed to stop doing it only for it to pop up elsewhere. Maybe I can stop skin picking and pick at something else. Maybe hypnotherapy could help, maybe there some unexplored deep lying reason why it happens.

I think the reason for doing this blog was to make people less embarrassed about it, if this reaches one person in cyberspace and makes them feel less worried about their ‘weird’ behaviour, then it was worth doing.

But if you read this and have any experience with Trich, maybe similar to mine, maybe totally different. If you conquered your Trich or if it still affects you. Please share in the comments.

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